Training Wheels Needed

Training parents about all things preschool and kids aged 18 months–5 years

Ask Rachel

Ask Rachel

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As a mother, Rachel has experienced the joys and trials of being a parent. As an innovator in Early Childhood Education, Rachel has seen thousands of parents and their children succeed by adopting her parenting philosophies of consistency, nurturing, and everyday learning. She’s here to answer any and all of your questions!

Click any question to see Rachel’s answer, or ask her your own question here.

Dear Rachel, we have an interview at a prospective preschool next week. What should we expect?
The most important thing to remember in a preschool interview is you are interviewing the school at the same time they are interviewing you.
First and foremost, is the facility secure? How do visitors enter and exit the building? Is there anytime during the day the entrances are unlocked? What secure drop-off and pick-up policies are in place? If you question your child’s safety, walk the other way.

Secondly, is the facility orderly and clean? This speaks volumes. Children, as well as adults, do not do well in chaos. If the room is ordered, so is the teacher. If the room is clean, it lets you know that management finds this important and is willing to spend the money to make sure the facility is clean each and every day.

Finally, look at the children in attendance. Are they happy, engaged, and challenged? If you can answer yes, yes, yes, then you have a win, win, win

Dear Rachel, how much learning do you think preschoolers should be doing on a screen, like an iPad, iPhone, PC, or TV, versus hands on playing and reading books?
The universal rule for everything in the world is MODERATION. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 1 to 2 hours of screen time per day. That includes all devices, including television. A diverse learning environment is always the best environment. Children learn in different ways. Some are visual learners, while others may be auditory learners. When you implement a multi-learning approach, your child receives the best of every approach. If your child is using a device, consider extending the learning experience by adding a book or hands-on activity.

Screens have been a godsend for children with learning disabilities, so they can be very valuable tools. My team has highlighted some of the best educational apps here.

Dear Rachel, My 4-year-old and 6-year-old boys are always fighting. What are your tips for helping them to get along better?
In every kingdom, there is a pecking order. I know this because I was the one who got pecked! My twin brother could not walk in or out of a room without touching, poking, pinching, or occasionally hitting me. He really enjoyed my reactions to his taunts.

When you’re aware of a conflict, stop what you’re doing and address it immediately. Screaming your warnings at the top of your lungs from another room will not work. This is a great opportunity to help your children learn to verbalize their feelings and engage in healthy conflict resolution.

Why do children fight?

  • Boredom
  • Get a reaction from the other child
  • Get your attention

If you can figure out why your child is acting out, then you can better address the real issue.

Dear Rachel, do you feel rewarding for good behavior is different than bribing the child to have good behavior ?

There is a fine line between bribing and rewarding, but at the end of the day…bribing is about holding the “carrot” to accomplish a desired result. Whereas, a reward is not usually predetermined, but it can be. The ultimate reward is to nurture a child’s own self esteem and pride for their accomplishments without having to hold the “carrot.”

For further information on this subject, I recommend this article from EmpoweringParents.com.

Dear Rachel, one of my child's teachers treats my child poorly compared to his classmates. What's the best way for me to address this?
I’m so sorry to hear about your son’s school situation. So much of life is chemistry and not all teachers are a good fit for every child. There is always a reason a teacher would act negatively towards a student. However, her actions are inappropriate and it angers me to think of her treating your child poorly.

You are your child’s advocate. My first suggestion is to address the situation directly with the teacher. Be honest about your son’s strengths and weaknesses. Without getting defensive, listen carefully to how she responds to your concerns. Together, devise a strategy that might help resolve the struggle. Make sure she knows you support her authority in the classroom. However, your child’s negative feelings about school are unacceptable. If the situation doesn’t improve, go to the administration and request your child be placed in a different class. It’s important your child has a positive experience in the classroom.

Dear Rachel, how important is it to give my son’s teacher an appreciation gift? What are the best types of gifts?
We all appreciate our child’s teacher. When we walk into a school and see 15 kids in a classroom, our first thought is “I could never do this every day.” But all you see is what is in front of you. As a parent, you have no idea the countless hours of planning and prepping that goes into a school day. More times than not, a teacher spends her own money on projects and curriculum.

As a preschool administrator, I knew my teachers really appreciated money. Often the class mother would call the other parents and collect a specific amount from each. Sometimes parents didn’t want to participate and that was their decision. A heartfelt letter is also a lovely choice. As a teacher, I often sat and read those letters on a day I needed an extra lift. The only bad gift that’s fairly common is a Teacher mug. There’s only so much coffee one can drink and hot beverages are normally not allowed in the classroom. Skip the mugs!

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